beachlass: red flipflops by water (you keep using that word)
beachlass ([personal profile] beachlass) wrote2007-06-11 10:57 am

(no subject)

So, as some of you know, we're in the midst of upheaval here in the beachlass household, as we get ready to move in July. This morning, my round of details took me to the hardware store, to pick up paint chips for the new house. Painting inside would be nice, (I'm leaning towards yellow) and I'm definitely putting some stain or paint on the unfinished deck and verandah (blue? could I even go with a purple??)

So here is beachlass, standing in the paint section of the local hardware store, hand over her mouth, repressing hysterical laughter. Why? Oh.

Oh.
Oh.
Oh.

Because front and centre in their display of decorative paint techniques is one called Frottage. No. Really there is... I'm not making it up, or even hallucinating. I came home from the hardware store with a brochure that says things like "Frottage: Step by Step"
doire: (Default)

[personal profile] doire 2007-06-11 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
There was a contestant on University Challenge, some years ago, who answered "frottage" to "What is the study of friction called?"

How sweet, my spell checker doesn't know what it means either.

And blue is nice on outside wood.

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
I'm leaning towards blue at the moment. Going to go hold paint chips up against the lobelia tomorrow.

[identity profile] eshala.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Remember when we thought it would be excellent to be the ones who came up with paint names???
Why didn't we think of naming paint chips by friction-based sex acts??
I like how helpful your hardware store is, with its step-by-step pamphlets...
Next they will have Wanking, Sounding and/or Felching techniques... Or perhaps they could partner with the lovely woman who wrote Hygeia, and figure out how to become pregnant through 'exultant friction'...

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
I would hope we would have known better than to name paint colours after sex acts. I was dumbfounded, thinking... frottage isn't exactly obscure... did no one flag this at a planning meeting or a proof read?

[identity profile] eshala.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 12:44 pm (UTC)(link)
No kidding...
Ummm... so... what is involved in frottage (the painting technique), anyway?

There have been other painting techniques that have confused me... but that one really does win.

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Rubbing paper on wet paint.

Did you see Nene's poem?
How are you feeling?

[identity profile] eshala.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I am feeling so much better...
Give me a call whenever you can - there are things and things that need discussing ;)
ext_77486: (Default)

[identity profile] na-no-nai.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
XD Well, that should make painting a bit more interesting, me thinks. ~__^

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
I think it would take a long time to get the house painted if it involved acts of frottage in each room.

[identity profile] ina-noranaya.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
*snickers* Oh, I needed to read this. Frottage. And your icon--Princess Bride ftw.

I hope the moving and settling in goes well. Thanks for letting us hear from you.

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
Well I needed to tell someone. And I didn't think the girl at the hardware store needed to have the conversation with me.

[identity profile] nezumiko.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps you could do the walls in frottage and the trim in bukkake?

I too, once yearned to be the person who named the colors. I wanted to name paint and lipstick and fabric swatches. And hmm, I think I might just get some writing out of this idea....

Go with purple! Purple and blue are excellent colors. Do both! A purple deck with shiny blue-stained rails. It will be glorious!

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
And you win the points for using a sexual term beachlass needed to look up. Thank god for wikipedia - the other links for bukkake didn't exactly look like something I wanted to click.

Purple and blue? I don't think I've got the nerve - we don't all live near San Francisco. But I did pick out some lilac paint chips for the bedroom.

a word from a painter of picnic tables

[identity profile] sailin-girl.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
if ya do a darrrrk purple your feet (ya... like you regularily wear shoes) will BURRRRN!!
ouuuch :(
bright fuschia.... thats my vote!! hehe
keep in mind too the purple could be like the hair dye and not got the awesome purple

Re: a word from a painter of picnic tables

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
I was thinking about the darkness factor - the dark green deck we used to have got uncomfortably hot. Fuschia? That's crazy talk. Appealing, but crazy talk.

[identity profile] eshala.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I would think that a nice farm-weathered blue... you know which one I mean? The not-robin's egg, and not sky, not a pastel, but a matte blue that is not light or dark... That kind of blue, with the trim in a deeper blue, or a deep purple with a milk-stained off-white...
That would give such a lovely bit of contrast to lobelias, or geraniums or...

[identity profile] beachlass.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:05 pm (UTC)(link)
A lake on a stormy morning blue.

[identity profile] eshala.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Exactly!