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Feb. 5th, 2007 03:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beachlassFor rainjoyous
I own neither Fullmetal, Roy, nor the fabulous world she has created for them.
I do own a rather absurd sense of humour.
No rutabagas were harmed in the making of this story.
rainjoyousI own neither Fullmetal, Roy, nor the fabulous world she has created for them.
I do own a rather absurd sense of humour.
No rutabagas were harmed in the making of this story.
Ed had just finished putting supper in the oven when Roy called to say he would be home late. He heard no sincerity in Roy's apology that he wouldn't be home to share the honey roasted swede. Maes had his Dada's aversion to rutabaga, and so Ed ate most of the dish himself, read Maes a bedtime story from Aristophanes and put him to bed. Ed was opening his second bottle of wine when Roy arrived home.
Ed poured himself another tumbler of wine ("Wine glasses are pretentious status symbols and far too easy to break, you overly civilized bastard.") He listened to Roy put away his overcoat and boots, and calculated how much scotch Roy had consumed while working. Finally Roy was in the doorway of the study, leaning against the wall and smirking at Ed. His dress shirt was partially unbuttoned, his hair messed, and he smelt like scotch and smoke. Ed wanted to hit him.
"Hawkeye worked through supper with me," Roy said, as if he didn't reek of expensive scotch and officer's club cigars. "We made it through the rest of the week's paperwork." Ed snorted in response, and wondered whether reading the rest of "Transmutations and Transportation: A History of Alchemy and Railways" would possibly be as satisfying as throwing it at Roy's head, and seeing if Roy was sober enough to defend himself. But there was always the possibility that Roy was drunk enough to consider air borne projectiles as foreplay.
"And then I went to the officer's club with Havoc, and charmed all the people I needed to run into at Headquarters this week." Roy smiled. "Fuck, I'm good." Ed narrowed his eyes, and considered transmuting the book into a train and then throwing it at Roy. It wouldn't be a big train, but it would be harder to deflect with flame, and have more and sharper corners to impact Roy's head.
Roy's smirk deepened in self-satisfaction, and Ed was momentarily distracted as Roy absently toyed with his open shirt collar.
"You missed supper." Ed reminded him. "And Maes' bedtime."
"M'sorry." Roy said quietly, holding Ed's gaze. Then Roy smiled and continued "I'm not sorry about supper... I hate rutabaga." Ed decided that throwing things at Roy was simply not going to give him the hands on satisfaction he needed, and jumped up from his armchair. But when he reached Roy, he quickly found himself pressed against the doorframe, Roy's body pressing against his, Roy's head lowering to murmur into Ed's hair. "But I'll do the washing up, I know you loathe it." Ed decided not to kill him until the dishes were done. "And I have the rest of the week off..." Roy cupped Ed's chin in his hands, firm and warm. Ed scowled at Roy, but Roy smiled and said, "So you can spend the rest of the week in the library researching, and I'll stay home with Maes. If you want, we could..." But whatever Roy had thought was possible was lost as Ed surged up into him, kissing him hotly and then Roy was groaning as Ed mouthed at his collarbone and then bit at his chest.
By the time they made it upstairs to their bedroom, Roy's shirt was off, and Ed's hair was loose. Roy's eyes were glazed with lust as Ed pushed him onto the bed. Then Ed's mouth curved in a wicked smile, and Roy was stupified as Ed picked up a rutabaga from the bedside table. "Wha-.." Roy couldn't even form a coherent question as he noticed a small stack of the tough, tasteless vegetables. In the bedroom? Bad enough in the kitchen. Ed grinned, clapped, and suddenly there was a sinewy rope in place of the rutabaga. Roy was too stunned to react before Ed had his hands tied to the headboard, and was reaching for another, smaller turnip.
"Ruta-" Roy spluttered. Ed grinned, and settled himself between Roy's legs. Rutabaga in one hand, lube in the other.
"Clever you, that is the safe word for tonight," Ed declared in a frighteningly cheerful voice. Before he clapped again he purred: "I can do things with root veg that would make your eyes pop out."
Ed poured himself another tumbler of wine ("Wine glasses are pretentious status symbols and far too easy to break, you overly civilized bastard.") He listened to Roy put away his overcoat and boots, and calculated how much scotch Roy had consumed while working. Finally Roy was in the doorway of the study, leaning against the wall and smirking at Ed. His dress shirt was partially unbuttoned, his hair messed, and he smelt like scotch and smoke. Ed wanted to hit him.
"Hawkeye worked through supper with me," Roy said, as if he didn't reek of expensive scotch and officer's club cigars. "We made it through the rest of the week's paperwork." Ed snorted in response, and wondered whether reading the rest of "Transmutations and Transportation: A History of Alchemy and Railways" would possibly be as satisfying as throwing it at Roy's head, and seeing if Roy was sober enough to defend himself. But there was always the possibility that Roy was drunk enough to consider air borne projectiles as foreplay.
"And then I went to the officer's club with Havoc, and charmed all the people I needed to run into at Headquarters this week." Roy smiled. "Fuck, I'm good." Ed narrowed his eyes, and considered transmuting the book into a train and then throwing it at Roy. It wouldn't be a big train, but it would be harder to deflect with flame, and have more and sharper corners to impact Roy's head.
Roy's smirk deepened in self-satisfaction, and Ed was momentarily distracted as Roy absently toyed with his open shirt collar.
"You missed supper." Ed reminded him. "And Maes' bedtime."
"M'sorry." Roy said quietly, holding Ed's gaze. Then Roy smiled and continued "I'm not sorry about supper... I hate rutabaga." Ed decided that throwing things at Roy was simply not going to give him the hands on satisfaction he needed, and jumped up from his armchair. But when he reached Roy, he quickly found himself pressed against the doorframe, Roy's body pressing against his, Roy's head lowering to murmur into Ed's hair. "But I'll do the washing up, I know you loathe it." Ed decided not to kill him until the dishes were done. "And I have the rest of the week off..." Roy cupped Ed's chin in his hands, firm and warm. Ed scowled at Roy, but Roy smiled and said, "So you can spend the rest of the week in the library researching, and I'll stay home with Maes. If you want, we could..." But whatever Roy had thought was possible was lost as Ed surged up into him, kissing him hotly and then Roy was groaning as Ed mouthed at his collarbone and then bit at his chest.
By the time they made it upstairs to their bedroom, Roy's shirt was off, and Ed's hair was loose. Roy's eyes were glazed with lust as Ed pushed him onto the bed. Then Ed's mouth curved in a wicked smile, and Roy was stupified as Ed picked up a rutabaga from the bedside table. "Wha-.." Roy couldn't even form a coherent question as he noticed a small stack of the tough, tasteless vegetables. In the bedroom? Bad enough in the kitchen. Ed grinned, clapped, and suddenly there was a sinewy rope in place of the rutabaga. Roy was too stunned to react before Ed had his hands tied to the headboard, and was reaching for another, smaller turnip.
"Ruta-" Roy spluttered. Ed grinned, and settled himself between Roy's legs. Rutabaga in one hand, lube in the other.
"Clever you, that is the safe word for tonight," Ed declared in a frighteningly cheerful voice. Before he clapped again he purred: "I can do things with root veg that would make your eyes pop out."
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-05 08:38 pm (UTC)Wine, whisky, mpreg, hating washing up and root veg, these are my associations? Meh. I could have worse. Though I can't believe I actually *said* that and never thought of the dirty implications ;)
Thank you, honey, if I ever get around to archiving giftfic and art this will be way up there for . . . interest value ^^;
(omg)
no subject
Date: 2007-02-05 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-05 08:42 pm (UTC)*giggles madly*
no subject
Date: 2007-02-05 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-05 08:48 pm (UTC)Root veg for the win!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-01 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-01 12:59 am (UTC)So glad to share the madness.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 03:13 am (UTC)Roy: Don't even think about it unless you're going to get the stains out of my dress shirts.
Ed: *shrugs and goes back to reading his book about trains*
ROFL!
Date: 2008-03-11 12:41 am (UTC)Niiiiiiiiiice!
Re: ROFL!
Date: 2008-03-11 12:52 am (UTC)How on earth did you end up here?
Re: ROFL!
Date: 2008-03-11 04:36 am (UTC)So thank you. It is only deserving to say so, to someone who gave me the joy of her words.
EP
Re: ROFL!
Date: 2008-03-11 02:35 pm (UTC)