Bring on the Ponies: The Further Adventures of Sasuke Uchiha

[beachlass]

So, you might remember back in February na_no_nai the misfortune pleasure of hosting a series of drabbles in her comments thread about Sasuke and his ponies.

Well.

My son's Sasuke figurine has been living in one of my cupholders in the car for the last week or so. I'm slightly creeped out in the mornings, when I have to move Sasuke out of the way for my travel mug, but I've been polite, and he hasn't unleashed snakes or a katon-no-jutsu on me yet, so it's been ok, all things considered. Until the day that my son pipes up from the back seat, and tells me that Sasuke likes hanging out in the cupholder because it's his hot tub. "Sasuke likes chillin' in his hot tub", the eight year old informs me. "Uh huh" I reply, glancing at Sasuke sitting in the cupholder. It is just about the right size for a hot tub actually. "He's waiting for his ponies" the boy in the back seat adds. "He likes to hang out in the hot tub naked with his ponies." This is the point at which I damn near drive off the road. Because somehow, it just seems sort of plausible, in that platonic boy and his pony kind of way.

And the whole Sasuke and his ponies thing was just delicious over the top fruitcake craziness, to lighten the tormented emo-kid bent on revenge. And then this week's chapter (which, clearly, I just got around to tonight) NINJA CATS??? Honestly. Might as well be ponies. Ninja Cats??? I saw that on an icon earlier in the week, and assumed someone was fooling around with the text... I didn't think it was really from the scanlations.

sigh.

However, the ninja cats and Juugo channeling Scarlet O'Hara by wrapping himself in the curtains was utterly redeemed by the appearance of Kiba, Shino and Hinata. Except when I realized that Kakashi seems to be leading them because apparently Kurenai is completely useless now that she's pregnant. grr.....

um. That's my fan ranting quota for the day.

Comments

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

Oh, my. That was my laughing fit for the evening. Sasuke naked in his hot tub, waiting for his ponies. *dies*

Hey, Scarlett saved Tara with that curtain-dress. It's not implausible that Juugo's curtain-clothing will save him from a horrible, angsty death.

...I think I am the only person in fandom that read the chapter, sighed, and went, Damn it, I HATE Team 8...

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

TO BE FAIR...

Kurenai's a good shinobi, and assuming Asuma is the father, the kid has good breeding. (Which means a TON cause. well. clans.)

So.. When your brood mare gets preggers and the stud is dead...


you probably would yank her form active duty.

you job is to live and squeeze out the kid! Whom will then be raised by the state while you get the hell back to work!

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

5 Ways Curtain Clothing Could Save Juugo.

1. Akamaru will get distracted by mouthfuls of cloth and chew the sheet instead of flesh.
2. Sai will decide to barter sex for some of the cloth to make himself a cape.
3. Shino's bugs will get lost in the endless swaths (sp?) of fabric
4. Sakura won't have the heart to punch someone so entirely lacking in fashion sense.
5. Naruto will give up on faux I'm-so-emo-in-my-pirate-shirt Sasuke (Kittens! Deduct 80 emo points) and fixate on Juugo instead, in his ultra-wrap-curtain-shirt.

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

Oh wait. Let's assume Asuma isn't the father, that she was screwing around and is being shunned for being visibly pregnant and mourning Asuma when everyone knew that one jutsu hit he took a few years back made him sterile.

[frackin-sweet.livejournal.com]

We all know that kid is gonna come out w/ overly-large eyebrows and give everyone a thumbs-up.

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

Or that.

I kinda prefer the brood mare idea.

And hey, maybe he knew. Maybe she wasn't screwing around, mybye they talked to.

Let's say Genma.

And Politely asked him to kncok Kure up so they could raise the child.


I take that back. They'd find someone with back hair.

maybe what's his face, kotetsu. He's got black hair. Or am i thinking the other one?

(course, if it was genma you have the ammusing secnario where she was goign to have _two_ kids and let genma and Raidou keep one. Almost surely not cannon, but. I'm ammused.)

[na-no-nai.livejournal.com]

Sasuke naked with his ponies... *dies* Also, snagged this icon recently and haven't had the chance to use it yet. XD

Not reading the spoilers, because I haven't caught up yet. D:

[scribblesitm.livejournal.com]

The one with the hair over the eye is Izumo and the one with the spikey hair is Kotetsu ...

and I can see the conversation with Genma, Raidou and Asuma:

A: Genma, I need you to have sex with Kurenai.
G: OK.
A: Don't you want to know why?
G: Not really.
R: *facepalm*

[scribblesitm.livejournal.com]

OMFG -- that is ... that is better than the 3yo making the sasuke and naruto figres fight then kiss ... that ...

hot tub .. ponies .. how did you keep the car on the road?

I almosy choked laughing at that.

I do agree that a child with a near deceased bloodline like the Sarutobi line means Kurenai has a very important job - not to mention the Yuuhi genjutsu thing ... and makes me wonder if they have like eggs and sperm frozen from particularly good shinobi...

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

Hey, just cause 'Suma's shooting blanks dosn't mean that they don't want a family.

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

eggs and sperm frozen from particularly good shinobi...

I don't know if their that advanced. Or that'd be like, the first thing you'd do, you know?

COngrats! you made chunnin and therefore might have some sort of potentail! No cannon fodder army for you!

Please fill this cup.

It wouldn't matter if Asuma went and steralized himself. He's got a sort of, do it yourself kit Kurenai can use.

[scribblesitm.livejournal.com]

Any conversation abot Ninja sperm...

Seriously, all those blood lines, i would think something liek that would be a priority, especially after the Uchiha thing.

There is a lot of medical technology, I mean look at all those machines keeping Kimi breathing back in sound. I would think some stasis jutsu or something would be able to have at least a limited effectiveness and preserve 'gentetic material' for a period of time. Not to mention the whole Neji's hair becoming flesh thing.

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

Hair=flesh




fingernail clippings=sperm?

[scribblesitm.livejournal.com]

That seems possible ... in fact, it wold be even better since post mortum DNA could be gathered. Can you imagine med nin going over the corpses in the Uchiha distract post Itachi -- just to preserve the Sharingan for the sake of Konoha?

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

Or battlefeilds!


.... No, they must not be able to do that....


cause then the sharigan'd be less, you know. awsome. Mosre people would have it.

And more people would be Kisame-blue.


Ever see gattaca? The movie? Can you imaging going on a mission tihnking 'Okay, I need to burn my toenail clipings and anythign i wank off into or they'll get MY DNA!'

[scribblesitm.livejournal.com]

(and yes this came from a conversation about Sasuke naked with ponies in a hottub)

Unless there is something more than just genetic with bloodline traits. Which would make sense, since Orochimaru can clone people -- oe whatever he did to make the #1 Ninja to take with you camping ... but out of all the clones, he was the only one to develope the 3rds wood abilities.

Or at least I think cause I'm all manga searched out to go digging for it :) So maybe boodlines have somethign more than genetic going for them, like the (and enter the land of pure guesswork) like the chakra of the parent does something to the sperm or egg that causes it to develope a certain way to have that ability?

Or it's the ninja kitten's fault.

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

Like, you develop the blood line limit depending on the chakra network of the mothers womb?

Sooo, the uchida bloodline's dead cause it's carrie don maternally anyway???

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

THat'd almost make sense. That your chakra would be shaped by you mother chakra.

So Kurenai's it might look like (insert random nin here...) but it'd probably have her abilities.

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

omgomgomgomgomgomgOMGOMG

*dies* YOUR ICON!

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

I am now convinced that this conversation is canon.

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

okay, let's try this again -__-

[na-no-nai.livejournal.com]

YES PLZ!

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

You have no words?

[kilerkki.livejournal.com]

Well, we know they can get stuff from bodies--thus the necessity of hunter nin completely destroying a body from their village, so that enemies can't gain any knowledge of special drugs/jutsu/bloodlines. Orochimaru did get the DNA from the Shodai's corpse (unless people keep relics of dead Hokage...) since the First presumably died before Orochimaru was old enough to start doing research.

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

You broke me. Either that or lj ate my post.

What I was trying to say was that askerian wrote a smutty Uchiha-matrilineal story.

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php/88770/296193

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

Orochimaru was alway, precocious.

But no one understood why, at the tender age of three, he took to digging.

[messypeaches.livejournal.com]

I think I've read that t one.

[nezumiko.livejournal.com]

I just got a dj in Japan that has Iruka collecting used condoms from people's trash and saving test tubes of semen. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what he's doing. He even has one labeled Sandaime....

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

Now there's an image I'll be carry around all day.

Thanks. So. Much.

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

See, this is when you get a My Little Pony and start taking pictures *grins*

[ditaykan.livejournal.com]

...........Nezu.

You have broken my brain.

I will NEVER get that image out of my head.