(no subject)
Jul. 7th, 2008 06:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beachlassBlisters and dirt under my nails and an ache in my right shoulder.
Argh. Dandelions. And snake weed and thistles and whatever that other stuff is... I've spent the afternoon weeding the lawn. There are places where the only strategy is to stick my handy weedy tool in blindly and start, because you can't actually see past the weeds.
Of course, when you finish those areas, there's no actual grass growing, so now I've got still slightly weedy bare patches where there were tall, lush, out of control weeds.
I have a theory. I think it takes more determination to start and stick to a task that you know is going to be unfulfilling in the short term. Yardwork is one of those chores for me. I love gardening - my two little herb and vegetable beds, and the expanding perennial beds - but the lawn care and trimming and weeding is find to be dull and endless and even when I'm done I still have the messy looking property on the block. Maybe even on the whole street. The house my daughter refers to as "the meth dealers" is the one that gives me a run for my money.
As I struggled with the weeds by the swing set, about a half hour in I thought - "Well, this really is like life sometimes. There are times when you work and struggle, until you're breathless and hurt and still, at the end of the day - you end up with something that still somehow doesn't measure up to whatever standard you've been socialized to try and achieve."
And you know what? As depressing as that sounds - it makes me feel better. Because, yeah - sometimes we inherit or buy into situations that are just choked with weeds. And it takes a lot of work to keep it from deteriorating (or even just slowing the deterioration); and there isn't a very fulfilling result, but sometimes the work itself - even if it seems endless - becomes oddly satisfying.
Argh. Dandelions. And snake weed and thistles and whatever that other stuff is... I've spent the afternoon weeding the lawn. There are places where the only strategy is to stick my handy weedy tool in blindly and start, because you can't actually see past the weeds.
Of course, when you finish those areas, there's no actual grass growing, so now I've got still slightly weedy bare patches where there were tall, lush, out of control weeds.
I have a theory. I think it takes more determination to start and stick to a task that you know is going to be unfulfilling in the short term. Yardwork is one of those chores for me. I love gardening - my two little herb and vegetable beds, and the expanding perennial beds - but the lawn care and trimming and weeding is find to be dull and endless and even when I'm done I still have the messy looking property on the block. Maybe even on the whole street. The house my daughter refers to as "the meth dealers" is the one that gives me a run for my money.
As I struggled with the weeds by the swing set, about a half hour in I thought - "Well, this really is like life sometimes. There are times when you work and struggle, until you're breathless and hurt and still, at the end of the day - you end up with something that still somehow doesn't measure up to whatever standard you've been socialized to try and achieve."
And you know what? As depressing as that sounds - it makes me feel better. Because, yeah - sometimes we inherit or buy into situations that are just choked with weeds. And it takes a lot of work to keep it from deteriorating (or even just slowing the deterioration); and there isn't a very fulfilling result, but sometimes the work itself - even if it seems endless - becomes oddly satisfying.
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no subject
Date: 2008-07-08 02:45 am (UTC).. OR you could replace the grass with gravel.
Or heather..
Or fake grass.
it might mess up your metaphor but it'd save your back?
no subject
Date: 2008-07-08 08:34 am (UTC)Slightly less poetic--also gives you time to think. My dad once wrote a poem/meditation on picking up dog poo. *grins*
J
no subject
Date: 2008-07-08 02:47 pm (UTC)Or I could just stare at your tasty Danny icon and not care about the yard at all.
Yes, but you still have to get rid of the weeds first. Parts of my lawn are really clover, rather than grass, and it's quite lovely.
And weeding is free. Unlike gravel and groundcovers.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-08 02:54 pm (UTC)The time to think is true, but oftentimes I fall into a rhythm of pulling or digging, and there's almost no thinking at all.
I've been reading a really interesting book on depression, and this morning he had an exerpt from Teresa of Avila's rules for nuns living in community. She has a short section on melancholy - which would include what we now understand as depression. She recommended that the prioresses keep the melancholic sisters to task, giving them work so that they did not retreat into themselves and dwell on their melancholy. But for sisters whose melancholy was long lasting and recurrent, she recommended being gentle and forgiving in expectations.
And most interesting -
She advised that melancholic sisters not be given over to too much time in prayer - in fact, to perhaps not even fulfill the basic routine of prayer, because their imaginations are weak.
Fascinating.
(gotta run)