cozy like a couch blanket
Dec. 28th, 2010 07:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beachlassMmm... supper tonight was homemade chicken soup.
I bought a new tv for Christmas! It will be big and shiny! (And not here until January, but I'm still excited)
My therapist keeps encouraging me to write/talk/otherwise explore my feelings. Pfft. You guys. If I wanted to talk about my feelings, I would.... IDEK, do whatever it is that people who want to talk about their feelings do. But anyway, I'm trying.
I drove up to a family Christmas gathering by myself yesterday. It's new for me to go by myself, as a child, you go with your parents, sleeping in the backseat on the way home. And before I spent too long as a nominal adult, I had a child of my own, and eventually a partner and another child. I felt reluctant to even go, happy once I was there, but occasionally aware that I felt like the only one there alone. There's a new generation of babies now, just beginning to walk. It's a joy watching my cousins' parent; and be surrounded by family. I'm so blessed, my extended family is a group amongst whom I feel relaxed, not on my guard.
But I'm still getting used to driving there and back by myself... through towns and villages I've been in and out of for my whole life - past the churches we've had family funerals, along snowy sideroads and carefully edging up drifted farm lanes. With both kids away right now, I'm glad to have the dog to come home to, glad to have a cat who sleeps at the foot of my bed.
Sometimes the solitude is comfortable, other times a bit lonely. And I suspect as the kids continue to grow up, the stretches of solitude will increase. I think maybe being a single parent can be a consuming identity, so it's disconcerting to have days when it's not at the forefront.
- Simmer chicken backs, celery, carrots and garlic in enough salted water to cover, for about 2 hours
- Lift the solids out, skim the fat off the top
- Pick through the chicken for meat, put that and the carrots and garlic back in, discard the rest
- Serve with a squeeze of lemon and hot sauce in each bowl for a hot/sour flavour.
I bought a new tv for Christmas! It will be big and shiny! (And not here until January, but I'm still excited)
My therapist keeps encouraging me to write/talk/otherwise explore my feelings. Pfft. You guys. If I wanted to talk about my feelings, I would.... IDEK, do whatever it is that people who want to talk about their feelings do. But anyway, I'm trying.
I drove up to a family Christmas gathering by myself yesterday. It's new for me to go by myself, as a child, you go with your parents, sleeping in the backseat on the way home. And before I spent too long as a nominal adult, I had a child of my own, and eventually a partner and another child. I felt reluctant to even go, happy once I was there, but occasionally aware that I felt like the only one there alone. There's a new generation of babies now, just beginning to walk. It's a joy watching my cousins' parent; and be surrounded by family. I'm so blessed, my extended family is a group amongst whom I feel relaxed, not on my guard.
But I'm still getting used to driving there and back by myself... through towns and villages I've been in and out of for my whole life - past the churches we've had family funerals, along snowy sideroads and carefully edging up drifted farm lanes. With both kids away right now, I'm glad to have the dog to come home to, glad to have a cat who sleeps at the foot of my bed.
Sometimes the solitude is comfortable, other times a bit lonely. And I suspect as the kids continue to grow up, the stretches of solitude will increase. I think maybe being a single parent can be a consuming identity, so it's disconcerting to have days when it's not at the forefront.
