beachlass | Some Canadian Humour, courtesy of my dad

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy had to say about Canadians during a recent
appearance at Caesars in Windsor: 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from 
September through May, 
You may live in Canada . 


If someone in a Home Depot store 
Offers you assistance and they don't work there, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation 
With someone who dialed a wrong number, 
You may live in Canada ... 


If 'Vacation' means going anywhere 
South of Detroit for the weekend, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you measure distance in hours, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you know several people 
Who have hit a deer more than once, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' 
In the same day and back again, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow 
During a raging blizzard without flinching, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you install security lights on your house and garage, 
But leave both unlocked, 
You may live in Canada .


If you carry jumper cables in your car 
And your wife knows how to use them, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you design your kid's Halloween costume 
To fit over a snowsuit, 
You may live in Canada . 


If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- 
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you, 
You may live in Canada . 


If driving is better in the winter 
Because the potholes are filled with snow, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you know all 4 seasons: 
Almost winter, winter, still winter, 
and road construction, 
You may live in Canada . 

(this is my favourite, because how true) 


If you have more miles 
On your snow blower than your car, 
You may live in Canada . 


If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', 
You may live in Canada . 


If you actually understand these jokes, 
and forward them to all 
your friends, 

you definitely are Canadian and proud to be. 
 --    		 	   		  
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