beachlass | (no subject)

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rainjoyous, What's your favorite memory of us that never happened? When we started that cult on a dare, then our disciples decided to sacrifice us, and we fought our way out of the compound armed with only our wits, a stapler and a shotgun? Or was it the time we eloped, only to divorce in 4 hours, after discovering irreconcilable differences over which was the correct way to spread peanut butter on toast?

Post and I'll give you a memory that never happened. Probably not involving peanut butter.

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Remember when we hitchhiked across country and ended up singing 'Bobby McGee' with this hairy trucker while it started sleeting on the Colorado border and I kept drawing perverted things in the condensation on the window?

And then they closed the highway, and we ended up sleeping in the booth at the roadside cafe, while the waitress got stoned in the kitchen, and the woman with the toy dog tried to hire someone to plow the road just for her.

My favorite memory of us was when we rented those two horses, and it turned out they were magic horses and took us up to the sky! Only then it turned out they were magic horses with perverse senses of humor, and they tried to DITCH us 200 feet up. >.>

Good thing that alien ship came along! Even if they did have an unnatural obsession with twizzle sticks. >.>

J

I didn't mind so much about the twizzle sticks, but it kind of bothered me that they posted those pictures of us on Facebook, because now I get a lot of friend requests from alien women with names like Zyzzlamazlon, who are 'looking for a good time'.

*shudders*

Oh it's gotta be that time we made out in the choir loft at that big stone church in downtown Toronto while the minister was going on and on about why Ruth and Naomi were poor role models. You had that fabulous hot-pink satin corset on under your vestments, and I was wearing that green silk camisole that matches my eyes. They never would have found us if we hadn't accidentally leaned against the organ and sounded that low C.

Luckily, the choir director was too entertained to complain about it! That could have been really embarrassing.

And then later that night, we went to the drag show, and did shooters with the local Member of Parliament.

I'd say it was that time we were picnicking out by the lake, and a giant tentacular monster reared up and reared up and threw up a unicorn? A newborn unicorn foal at that. It was rainbow coloured and had "Sasuke" tattooed across its butt.

But remember how exhausting it was trying to bottle feed a unicorn foal? Remember how it kept throwing up the milk we were feeding it, until we figured out that the only thing it could keep down was single malt scotch?

And then later? With the noodles?

I was glad to get home after that vacation. And I never did find the picnic basket.

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